Wives, Your Hubby is Christ . . . But You Are the Church

Today is hubby’s and my third anniversary. Three whole years. Now we’re experts! ūüėČ

Recently, I’ve been going through¬†Sacred Marriage, by Gary L. Thomas. He’s been writing on the husband’s role to “love your wife as Christ loves the church.” (Ephesians 5:25)

This means hubby’s supposed to be perfect, right?

I like¬†the visual because Christ’s love¬†is perfect. Naturally, hubby can’t be perfect (though he’s pretty darn close), but it’s a worthy¬†pursuit. Us wivesies won’t complain, will we? [grin]¬†But here’s a question: if the husband¬†is Christ loving the church . . . how are we — the wives — representing the church?

Representing the Church

This question¬†wouldn’t leave me alone as I approached my wedding day. I represent the church,¬†I kept thinking.¬†I represent the church. What does that mean?¬†I was drowning in symbolism and revelations by the time I stepped into the aisle.

Wearing¬†white and walking toward my husband — willingly committing¬†the rest of my life to this man — I realized I represented¬†the way Christ wants His people to approach¬†Him.¬†Me! Tiny little speck-on-the-earth me.¬†We are supposed to approach Christ¬†willingly. Joyfully. With confidence and trust.

But do we approach Him — or even¬†view Him — like that? Think about it. What do your morning devotions look like? I know¬†mine sometimes feel like a to-do list of pulling teeth. Sometimes I’ll speed through a prayer so I can get to eating faster. How un-intentional is¬†that?

If hubby is Christ and I’m the church how should I¬†(we) be approaching him (Christ)?


This wasn’t¬†just a wedding day thing.¬†It wasn’t just about wearing white, about being intentional with my vows, about being brave entering into a lifelong commitment, or about trusting my husband would hold to his own promises.

It was about being a wife.

My Husband’s¬†Role as Christ

Hubby (remember, he’s representing Christ here)¬†always wants to be close to me — emotionally, spiritually, physically, etc — no matter how grouchy I am!¬†Hubby¬†always wants to make me happy.¬†And yet I’m the one who turns grouchy. I’m the one who clams up or doesn’t share my feelings or doesn’t talk to him¬†when I ought to.

I found myself thinking, the other day, is that how God is? Always wanting to be in fellowship? Always wanting me to be rightly happy? Always wanting to show me what real love looks like? And yet I get distracted, or clam up, or turn grouchy, or refuse to believe His genuineness.

The Wife’s Role as the Church

Brandes_191It’s a weighty role to represent. When I finally finally grasped a teensy bit of the concept,¬†it completely changed how I approached hubby on our wedding day. It was my job to be an example to people — to the world — of how¬†the church ought to approach God. It was hard and my wedding day was the one day I think I succeeded.

Now, three years later, I’m reminded¬†of that revelation. And how I’ve dropped the ball. When was the last time I remembered I represent how¬†the church should approach¬†God? “How should the church approach God?” and “How should I (the wife) approach my husband?” both have the same answers.

When hubby has his role in mind and I have mine . . . things become right. Things become God-focused. And that’s when we’re fulfilling our roles, both to each other and to God.


So, all you married folk out there . . . these are your roles. Let’s be an example of what the relationship between Christ and the church should be.

All you single folk out there . . . here is your role: approach Christ in the way He desires His church and His people to come to Him. Be an example to¬†us,¬†the married folk. ūüėČ

How do you view your role to your spouse? Or your role as a single daughter/son of Christ?


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About Nadine Brandes

Nadine Brandes is an adventurer, fusing authentic faith with bold imagination. She never received her Hogwarts letter, but rest assured she‚Äôs no Muggle (and would have been in Ravenclaw House, thank you very much.) This Harry Potter super-nerd has been known to eat an entire package of Oreos (family size) by herself, and watches Fiddler on the Roof at least once a year. She writes about brave living, finding purpose, and other worlds soaked in imagination. Her dystopian trilogy (The Out of Time Series) challenged her to pursue shalom, which is now her favorite word (followed closely by bumbershoot.) When Nadine‚Äôs not taste-testing a new chai or editing fantasy novels, she and her knight-in-shining armor (nickname: ‚Äúhubby‚ÄĚ) are out pursuing adventures.
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  1. Love this post. Yes, yes, yes! That’s why it makes me sad that the role of husband is so devalued in most TV programs and movies. We make the wife to be the strong one, and the husband plays the role of a doofus. Marriage can’t work that way.

  2. Happy Anniversary! Great reminders and timeless truths. And…you didn’t need to borrow any of those lovely pictures from Pintrest either ūüėČ

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