ADVENTURING AUTHOR: Bermuda, Bahamas, Come On Pretty Mamma

Beach Boys. Anyone? Anyone? No? *sigh*

As you might have seen this month’s newsletter, hubby and I will be taking a cruise to Bermuda next week! So if you never hear from us again, know that we’re exploring the Bermuda triangle and have probably disappeared to another realm (I’ve put in a request for Hogwarts or Middle Earth.)

This cruise is basically happening at the worst possible time for us. (But let’s be honest, are cruises ever a BAD thing?) How could we know that we’d be moving two months later? Or switching jobs? Or pregnant? (JUST KIDDING! We’re so not pregnant. That was mean. I know.)

Here’s how this went down:

Hubby turned 30 this year (*gasp* Nadine just talked about AGE! She broke the rule!) Yeah, whatever. ANNNNNYWAY, I knew I wanted to do something special and my family’s version of “special” means psycho-insane-blow-up-your-brain special. So, almost two years ago I bought a little box and stuck it in my closet. Then I started sneaking money into it. And I saved until I finally had enough to set up a cruise for hubby and me shortly after his birthday.

This is the box. ?

Hubby had no clue. [insert majorly evil laugh]

I bought the cruise several months in advance when life seemed all hunky-dory and smooth. I should have known better. But there you have it. In the middle of our lives blowing up . . . we’re going on a cruise. And it’s going to make for an awesome story.

What I’ll be doing on this cruise.

GETTING FAT! Duh! But then we’re going scuba diving around a whole bunch of sunken ships, so I’ll work off all the desserts I plan to eat. Also, I’ll be reading books, books, and more books! Starting with Sweet by Emmy Laybourne. It’s about a cruise ship that’s poisoning all its inhabitants with a diet-powder that TURNS THEM ALL INTO CREEPY ZOMBIES! (I’m totally serious.)

Yes, I’m reading a cruise-zombie-book while sailing through the Bermuda triangle.

Morbid. Ironic. *evil laugh*

I’ll also be WRITING on this cruise! “But you said you’re writing your next book on a typewriter!” you say. That is correct. And guess what? My typewriter has a travel case. Apparently things were really cool (and prepped for cruises) in 1936.

I’m going to be that super annoying passenger who clears the deck because her typing is driving everyone nuts. But hey, I’ll get cool pictures of a typewriter next to the ocean. Worth it.

I hope to REGAIN SANITY. (A writer’s version of “sanity” is actually a good dose of the world’s version of “insanity.” In case you needed clarification.) In all honesty, 2016 has been trying to murder hubby and me and I’m already starting to go bald. I think this will be a great time for us to breathe, to be totally disconnected from the world (the cruise ship’s way of kidnapping us.) and for hubby and me to just have . . . us time.

One week a year. That’s all I ask. ?

So why should you care that I’m going to Bermuda?

Um . . . I don’t know that you should care. In fact, you’re probably bored of hearing about me me me. (I get sick of talking about me me me, too. So you’re not alone.) But you ask me for updates so I will give you updates dag nab it!! Actually . . . I share my adventuring author stories because they inspire some people. (At least, I hope they do.) I want to go against the author grain and get out from behind my desk! I can’t possibly write about adventures or our awesome world (or create other awesome worlds) if I’m not exploring my own.

We’re meant to share our lives. So here’s a bit of mine for you to gobble up. ?

I’ll do a follow up post when we get back to share the things I learned or saw or that almost killed me. (There was an option to scuba dive with great white sharks while they’re feeding. Um. NO THANK YOU I’D RATHER SIP ARSENIC IN A NEEDLE-FILLED HAMMOCK.)

That’s the Brandes update for now. I’ll be thinking of all you awesome ninjas the whole time. (It’s probably good that I won’t have internet otherwise I’d spend the whole time drowning you in Instagram photos . . . which would defeat the purpose of g-e-t-t-i-n-g a-w-a-y).

Let’s chat!

If you could go on a cruise anywhere in the world, where would you go? (Tweet this)

Have you ever been on a cruise before?